How do you define success and failure? Is it Monetary? Status? Relationship? Family?
Why is it so easy to accept success and so hard to accept failure? This is something that I think about a lot.
The truth is, my failures have led to my greatest successes. It sounds cliché, I know, but hear me out.
Example 1: The failed relationships prior to my spouse. At the time, I was devastated, but if any one of those had worked out I would not be married to the person I am today. The person that I am truly meant to be with.
Example 2: Career setbacks. Lay-offs, dismissals, mergers and acquisitions, terminations.
Again, if these had not occurred I would not be where I am today. In a role that fits my personality, skills and talents, with a boss who trusts and respects me.
This thought process can be applied to any part of life. And the beautiful part of this perspective is that it takes the stress and pressure off. In the future if I “fail”, I know that any setbacks are leading me to something greater. I don’t look for failure, but when it comes I’m accepting of it. It isn’t easy, and sometimes I need to fake it, but this framework has taken me through some of the most challenging times.
To me, a failure is only a failure under two circumstances:
- If I haven’t learned something.
If my ego gets the better of me, and I fail to reflect, I don’t learn from my mistakes–and something can always be learned. “Forget the mistakes, learn the lessons.” @powerofpositivity
- If I repeat the behavior (see above).
The hardest part about failure is having the belief and trust that it happened for a reason. If you can get your mind set focused on this–that everything happens for a reason, you will experience great relief. Think about your own life, previous ‘failures’ or challenges. If you sit quietly and focus, you can see that you have had examples of this before.
The last thing I want to address is fear–fear of failure. I have always been told that you can have either fear or faith but not both. Pick one. The fear of failure can be crippling. Change your mindset. If failure happens, it is a gift. It means you are getting closer to the success. Learn from it.
I close with a great IG post from @mindsetofgreatness
“Sometimes life doesn’t give you something you want, not because you don’t deserve it, but because you deserve so much more.”